How to Get Through the Holiday Season Loneliness When You Can’t See Your Family


The vacations can be completely different this yr, and it is a truth I’m nonetheless processing. The vacations are my favourite time of yr, and I do know COVID-19 is actual. However it’s nonetheless unusual to have to select isolation throughout such a particular time of yr due to a world pandemic. I’ve personally been feeling the emotional results of COVID-19 isolation since I’m practically 3,000 miles away from my hometown and household. It wasn’t till September that I began to really feel a major emotional shift. Since I’ve opted not to go house for Thanksgiving this yr (this can be my first Thanksgiving away from house) due to taking COVID-19 security precautions, I’m in truth feeling a double whammy of unhappiness. Nevertheless, I do know staying put is the most secure alternative for my household and me. I believed breaking the information to my dad and mom can be troublesome, however they beat me to it—sharing their concern about risking publicity to fly house.

It’s protected to assume that I’m not the solely one that can be spending the holidays alone this yr. With that in thoughts, I reached out to Dr. Gail Saltz, medical affiliate professor of psychiatry at the New York Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell Faculty of Drugs and host of the Personology podcast; and Dr. Nikole Benders-Hadi, a licensed therapist and the medical director of behavioral well being at Physician On Demand, to search out their steering on how to address loneliness this vacation season. 


Know that it’s regular to really feel extra lonely throughout the holidays

Feeling lonely or melancholy throughout this time of the yr isn’t irregular. So if you end up feeling much less enthusiastic as the holidays develop close to, Dr. Benders-Hadi stated these emotions aren’t unusual. “Many people feel more lonely during the holidays since this time of year may bring back memories of time spent with family members they have lost, or feelings of sadness around the status of relationships they have with family or friends,” she advised The Everygirl. “There is so much pressure to get into the holiday spirit that if you are not feeling joyous, this time of year can be very difficult.” Since we aren’t alone in having these emotions throughout the holidays, how will we navigate them? Our specialists have a couple of ideas. 


Join nearly

Each specialists agree that digital connections could be useful. “Virtual connections can absolutely create a positive sense of community,” Benders-Hadi stated. “Similar to how many individuals find it easier to connect to healthcare professionals from the comfort of their own home, the same rings true for developing new friendships and connections. When connecting virtually, the reach of your community is also so much more widespread across the nation and even the world, so you have the ability to learn and experience things you may never have had the opportunity to otherwise.”

Whereas digital connections provide a chance to open up your world, Saltz stated, don’t be afraid to join one on one. “You need to pump up the emotional content of the conversation when it’s virtual,” she defined. “Be kinder, express more positive feelings, and listen to them more.”


Supply: West Elm


Fill your time with a brand new interest, however don’t isolate

When we went into quarantine, I used to be the new interest queen till I obtained fatigued. After speaking with my therapist, I quickly realized that these actions made me really feel busy, however nonetheless left me feeling alone. Should you’re going to decide up a brand new interest, deliver these you like in on it. “It’s actually more helpful to reach out to others and try to have more intimate, valuable conversations with them,” Saltz stated. “That will make you feel better than a solo activity.”

Should you’re unable to go house for the holidays, strive reserving an internet cooking expertise with Airbnb (I like them) or schedule a time with a gaggle of your loved ones members to study a sacred vacation recipe like candy potato pie or mac and cheese. This manner, you’re nonetheless part of your loved ones traditions, however now in a brand new method.


Be supportive of others

Everybody can be coping with one thing completely different this vacation season, together with loss. Should you don’t know what to say to somebody who’s grieving, our psychological well being specialists have sound recommendation. “If you know someone coping with the loss of a loved one this holiday season, reach out to let them know you care,” Benders-Hadi suggested. “It can be easy to get caught up in negative thinking and grief around this time of the year, so showing that person you are thinking of them can go a long way. A simple phone call or a small gesture are great ways to display kindness to someone struggling.” Saltz added that normalizing a cherished one’s grief can also be essential. “[Express] that you understand it is sad, rather than saying things like, ‘Don’t be sad.’ Reminisce with them of happy times with that lost one, be supportive, and be present.”


Plan moments to look ahead to

COVID-19 has modified how we reside and plan to spend time with our household and buddies, however that doesn’t imply we will’t have enjoyable reminiscing about previous occasions whereas being hopeful about the future. “If you can’t be with those you love this holiday season, get together on a video call and share a laugh or some memories from afar. You can even start making plans for what you will do when you can see each other again. Having something to look forward to can help ease stress in these uncertain times, even if you have to do so with flexible travel dates,” stated Benders-Hadi.  


I hate to say that is the “new normal” as a result of, let’s face it, none of what we’re experiencing proper now could be regular. However, I hope one (or all) of those skilled ideas helps remind you, you aren’t alone.